just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
