I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize