you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
