Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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