why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm jealous of your bromance
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize