dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
