he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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