yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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