no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
