I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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