Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize