I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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