Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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