Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Randomize