We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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