shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
do herpes really smell.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
