I need help removing her.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
