sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize