How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
