Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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