I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize