it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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