So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
