They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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