4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Nicole vs. Life
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize