Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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