dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
