Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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