i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
