everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
