honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
