There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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