Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
