I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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