went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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