glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
In other news, I just burned my penis
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
