i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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