How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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