i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
