I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
