I want to make a zoo with you.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I could fuck to npr.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
