Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize