You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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