I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
