where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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