Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
