I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
