I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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