Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
