I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
