i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize