went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
