Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
