Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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