Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Porn is love you can see.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
