I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
