You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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