when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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