Me too!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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