I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
