Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
